You Will Love
For my children and for mothers, when the moving of time passes, when age has crept upon us, when we stand weathered, weary, sometimes blocking and bumping, wondering and waiting, through our highs and our lows, hold and keep these words from me to you, your mother who has and will always continue to love you, fully, unconditionally, achingly and innocently…my loves…
I will never be this loved or give this love again, it is the love between you and your children. From the instant it is immeasurable, unpredictable and unconditional. It will test you, pulling, pushing, pressing, punishing against your patience. You will love. It will conflict, confront, crumble, cocoon deep within the depths of your consciousness. You will love. It will break within your being, tumble within your balance, hold you higher and bounce you lower, bubbling and buoyant. You will love. It will cry, it will sing, it will sigh, time will be lost, missed, passed in moments of beautiful nothing, smiling. You will love.
It will change, infinite in its potential. You will love. Ageing, learning, failing, forming, growing together, entwined, connected, holding tight, one tiny grasp always reaching for the other. You will love. Wiser together, worn together, wild and wide eyed together. Puzzling pieces placing, playing, pivoting and shaping, bending forward and backwards around and around finding a way to fit. You will love. Times of silence, lonely, lost, the space between them growing, yet, dimly glow the moments of reconnection, relief and reconciliation. You will love. You will live and love, live for that love and love life for that love. You will love. You will be loved, they will be loved and there will ultimately and always be love. New with old and old with new, together, you will love.
Mothers, we carry and cradle the love of our children, this love won’t always follow joy, it will hurt, it will ache and it will weep. We will look back on these difficult moments of love with criticism, judgement and self persecution. We will carry the scars of love. Be mindful of your doubting self, keep them close and hold them, give that doubt your beaming love. Our mistakes are what make us stronger, make us better, make us learn and step into the warrior women we know ourselves to be, our beautifully imperfect selves. Love her! Know that under every flaw we are closer to our truer selves and love it, love every twist and exhilarating turn that this incredible journey of motherhood has in store. There is always love and you will love!
