Study Rocks the Crying Baby Theory
As new parents, particularly in the western world, we are bombarded with incoming information of the latest theories and trends of how ‘according to the experts’ we should be raising our little ones. From self soothing, controlled crying, sleep/feed/play, play/feed/sleep, swaddling, wrapping, rocking, all the tricks of the trade to baby whispering!
Leaving my baby to cry it out, killed me. It pulled against every natural and maternal instinct I possessed, with the self soothing mantra “they’ll be better off in the long run” on a perpetual loop in my head. The experts advice to remove yourself from the crying, go outside, have a cup of tea, never sat well for me. I could never understand why we were being advised to fight and struggle against something that came inherently naturally to us. As it turns out, according to new research by Professor Darcia Narvaez of the University of Notre Dame’s Department of Psychology, that instinct was right on the mark with a new study finding that cuddled children grow up to be healthier, less depressed, kinder, more empathetic, and more productive adults. Yay for more cuddles!
The study, that soon will be added to the prestigious journal Applied Developmental Science, studied more than 600 adults. It found that those who were cuddled as children grew into more well-adjusted adults with less anxiety and better mental health. Along with cuddling, a positive childhood with lots of affection and quality time also led to healthier adults with better coping skills.
According to Prof Narvaez the research showed it was “impossible” to “spoil” infants with cuddles and that letting them cry can “ruin” their development.
“What parents do in those early months and years are really affecting the way the brain is going to grow the rest of their lives, so lots of holding, touching and rocking, that is what babies expect,” Prof Narvaez told Tribine Media.
“They grow better that way. And keep them calm, because all sorts of systems are establishing the way they are going to work. If you let them cry a lot, those systems are going to be easily triggered into stress.”
“We can see that in adulthood, that people that are not cared for well, tend to be more stress reactive and they have a hard time self-calming.” And the younger they receive it the better !
For most of us, we know that children come into this world seeking and wanting love, affection and reassurance through contact and touch, our wanting to respond, to race and to scoop up has often been blocked with a spoiling stigma, so how wonderful does it feel to know that instinctively we were getting it right all along! There is nothing wrong with a cuddle, holding them just that little bit longer, reaching out when they want and need you most, and giving them love, security and affection! We are all doing the best job we know how. If you and your child responded well to self-soothing then that’s wonderful, but in the same breath, if it doesn’t feel right, if it is pulling and raging against everything you feel then don’t fight it. You do what’s right for you and for your baby. There is no right or wrong, take them in your arms and shower them in the love you are desperate to give. I’m all for the cuddle trend, sign me up now !
